Image credit: Instagram @riazmeghji
Riaz Meghji is a television host, professional speaker, and author residing in Vancouver, BC, Canada. He joins Chris Van Vliet to talk about his new book “Every Conversation Counts”, how you can ask better questions in your life, the power of human connection, tips to make people feel famous when you speak to them, his favorite celebrity interviews, and more!
On the art of conversation:
“3 days before I gave a Ted Talk back in 2012. I was a business graduate that defected into television out of passion and commitment. A friend of mine Sam reached out and asked me what was the title going to be for my Ted Talk. Anyone who has the opportunity to present their material, it’s a real opportunity to impact somebody and inspire somebody. Sam asking that question made me wonder why do I love the art of the interview? When I really got down to it, the answer was the power of any given conversation. Not every conversation will be life changing, but every conversation has the potential to save somebody’s life. When I answered that question, I became more intentional in the title of Every Conversation Counts.”
On early mistakes as an interviewer:
“I would make the critical mistake of researching the guest and coming up with what I thought was a brilliant list of questions. When I watch the playback, I would say I asked all my questions, check. But I would miss the mark because I was caught up in all the research. The one key lesson is to overprepare to improvise. The research will give me confidence and show that person I care about the contributions that they have made. But the opportunity for real connection is leaning in and improvising. They may throw something at me that I haven’t researched, but it is a priority to them. Following that lead as opposed to falling back on my questions, that’s how the magic happens. One of the first questions I would throw to my guests in the green room was ‘Hey thanks for being here. What’s on your mind?’ The things that would come out of their mouth would help me understand the priority that’s occupying this person’s mental space. Lets explore this, because they will trust you and explore other mental spaces.”
On the more challenging interviews:
“You make me think of junket interviews. Where someone has that movie coming out, they are in a hotel for the weekend, we only have 5 minutes. They know their talking points, then it’s on us to break through that, which is difficult at times. Becasue there has to be a willingness on their part to share something new. They could be exhausted, it really comes down to a commitment to listening.”
On what made him want to go into interviewing when he was younger:
“It happened in early 2000’s, final semester of university. I was finishing my degree and I was going to be a broker. I had just finished facilitating a conference in Quebec for an international student group. The co-chair, charismatic and funny guy, sat in on my sessions. After the sessions, he said that I shouldn’t go into business. He thought I should go into presentation, whether it was television or other medium. However, because I am from a South Asian family, if you are not a doctor, lawyer, dentist or some sort of financial expert, that’s a problem with mom and dad. I was living the life of what my parents wanted me to be. After that conversation, the seed was planted. My parents were concerned. But now being a parent, I understand they were concerned for my wellbeing. They [my parents] worked hard when I was a kid, and they just wanted to make sure that I would be ok.”
On 5 habits to be a better interviewer:
“The first habit is listen without distraction. Our brain has an appetite for information. During a conversation, I could be looking at my phone, getting distracted, daydreaming. Look at our conversations and realize what’s getting in the way. Number 2, make your small talk bigger. Ask expansive questions, they start with how, what and why? Also, ask for stories, not just answers. Emotion lives in stories. Number 3, put aside your perfect persona. It’s important to lead with honesty and realness, and to put in the work to bring credibility to yourself. Number 4, be assertively empathethic. How can we discover before we dismiss people? Relationship is the foiundation for productiveness. When we disagree, it’s confrontation. Put the relationship first and knowledge second. Acknowledge what someone has said, no matter if you agree or not. People want that sense of belonging. Number 5, make people feel famous.”
On who made him feel famous:
“Tom Cruise. In Vienna, that was my first glimpse of how Tom operates. They told me that Tom would be with fans for hours before the red carpet and then hours with the press. That’s exactly what he did. I thought for sure Tom would brush by me. He came up to me, eye contact and he brushed off his publicist. He was present to answer the question. Everybody needs a champion to lift them up, and it can be anyone.”
On how the pandemic has affected behaviours:
“That human connection isn’t an option, it’s a necessity. Our touch points got overlooked. We were autopilot mode on how we checked in with people. You take that away, and you feel the degree of loneliness. The pandemic didn’t change your identity, it reveals it. It shows how powerful human connection is. What I am asking myself is ‘How can I have meaningful connections, regardless of the context?’
On where to start as an interviewer:
“The number one place to start is to understand the psychology of speaking. I ask if people are there to give something to people, or take something. I ask who in the room can share their perspectives, so I can understand the pinpoints of what people need. So there is clarity and alleviates the anxiety. It’s then about customising the message that serves them.”
On what he is grateful for:
“My wife and my son, a powerful team that got behind the Every Conversation Counts message and you Chris.”
Riaz Meghji can be found on Instagram here. For more blog posts, click here.
